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I Do Not Trust God, My Soul, Or Myself

Next Focus in Divine Consciousness

 

1.) THE TEACHING:

Self-Love

 

2.) THE DIVINE SET-UP:

I do not trust God, my Soul, or myself.

 

3.) THE "DRAMA" AS IT APPLIES TO THE SET-UP:

I feel…
Ashamed Betrayed Confused Hopeless
Despondent Isolated Helpless Abandoned
Vile Worthless Distrustful Cheated
Furious Empty Terrified Condemned

 

4.) REALIZATIONS: WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON HERE?
a.) Ego Perspective:
1.) I am an evil, vile sinner. I deserve a life of pain and suffering.
2.) I am unforgivable, repulsive, and self-destructive.
3.) I can never trust anyone, especially God and Soul.
4.) I am weak and helpless.
5.) I am utterly alone, isolated, invisible.
6.) I am a lying hypocrite.
7.) My Soul is bad, putrid, and filled with rot. I am rotten to the core.
8.) No one has ever trusted me. Why should I trust anyone or anything?
9.) I am despicable, unredeemable, and condemned.
10.) I am unworthy of love. I am unloved. I cannot love myself.
11.) I am scorned by God. God cannot love me. Why has God abandoned me?
12.) I am not worthy to love God.

 

Worst End Scenario:

I am a horrible sinner. God hates me and has deserted me. I will never be forgiven. Even I have abandoned me. I do not trust myself. I do not trust that I can be saved; no one can save me. God has abandoned me. My Soul is desolate, crying in the wastelands. I can't find my Soul. I do not trust that I have a Soul. There is no God. God has vanished, never was, but there is still a Hell. The only thing I really trust is that I will rot in Hell and burn for all eternity.

 

b.) Psychological Perspective:
1.) Who/What imprinted you? And How?
1.) My mother imprinted me with the belief that I am unworthy by shaming and blaming me.
2.) My mother imprinted me with constant fear by telling me God would punish me.
3.) My mother imprinted me with denying my Truth by demeaning and invalidating my experiences.
4.) My mother imprinted me with self-hate by constantly criticizing me.
5.) My parents imprinted me with their belief that the world is dangerous, and I must not trust anyone out there.
6.) My father imprinted me with feeling empty and hollow by strangling my hope.
7.) My father imprinted me with a sense of worthlessness by invalidating my thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
8.) My father imprinted me with the belief that I am untrustworthy by ridiculing me, and not believing me.
9.) My parents and the church imprinted me with the belief that I am helpless, powerless, and impotent, by belittling my actions and decisions.
10.) My church imprinted me with the belief that I am a rotten sinner by teaching me that I deserve to be punished.
11.) My church imprinted me with being afraid of God by teaching me that God would never forgive me and that He would send me to Hell.
12.) God imprinted me with feeling abandoned by never rescuing me.

2.) The Payoff. Name it.
Name the Negative Power that feeds the Payoff.

The payoff I get from not trusting God, my Soul, or myself is that I do not have to be responsible for my decisions, my choices, my mistakes, or my life. I can be the victim all my life. I can blame others, religion, and society for my own faults and sins.

Why should I take responsibility for anything? Why should I be held responsible for my fall from the grace of God? God doesn't follow through on His promises anyway! God is not omnipotent. My Rage is omnipotent and is the Negative Power that feeds my Payoff.

3.) What I need to change… inside myself.
1.) I need to change my feelings of being a dirty rotten sinner into trusting that I am whole and perfect just the way I am.
2.) I need to change my feelings of unworthiness by trusting my Authentic Voice and speaking from the Truth of my Heart.
3.) I need to change my feelings of being abandoned by God by trusting that I can take responsibility for my life choices.
4.) I need to change my feelings of being weak, helpless, and hopeless by trusting my internal power and wisdom.
5.) I need to change my feelings of Rage into Self-Love.
6.) I need to change my feelings of shame and self-criticism into self-forgiveness and trust in my connection with Soul.
7.) I need to change my feelings of being hollow and empty by tapping into the wholeness and richness of my Soul.
8.) I need to change my feelings of not trusting myself, others or God into placing my trust and faith in myself, my Soul, and God.
9.) I need to change my feelings of resentment into feelings of trust, acceptance, and love.
10.) I need to change my feelings of self-hate and disgust into Self-Love, Self-Trust and compassion.
11.) I need to change my feelings of dishonesty and unfaithfulness into self-assurance and honor.
12.) I need to change my feelings of being unlovable into trusting that I Am Love.

4.) Unfinished Mommy/Daddy Business:
1.) Like my father I disconnect from Soul.
2.) Like my mother I do not trust that I Am God.
3.) Like my father I am arrogant and deny that I have faults. I do not trust that I can recover from criticism.
4.) Like my mother I cover my feelings of unworthiness with deeds of "doing" and accomplishment. I do not trust anyone to love me just for myself.
5.) Like my father I cannot release control into trust.
6.) Like my mother I do not trust that I am good, pure, God-like.
7.) Like my father I am critical and judgmental of myself and others. I do not trust that other people are honest with me.
8.) Like my mother I feel unlovable, and I do not trust that others love me.
9.) Like my mother I believe myself to be less-than. I do not trust that I will ever be good enough.
10.) Like my mother I blame others for my unhappiness in life. They can't be trusted not to hurt me.
11.) Like my parents I punish by withholding love and attention. I do not trust that my feelings will be heard or honored.
12.) Like my parents I demand perfection from self and others. I don't trust that anyone else can do it the way I want it done (the right way!)

5.) Triangulations:
  Show at least 3 triangles with you in each of the three positions: Victim (V), Savior (S), and Persecutor (P). 

Triangulation Diagram 1 Triangulation Diagram 2 Triangulation Diagram 3

6.) Negative Love Patterns:
1.) My mother taught me - "You had better be good because God is watching".
2.) My father taught me - "After what you've done, I can never trust you again".
3.) My mother taught me - "I can never trust you to do it right."
4.) My father taught me - "You'll never change. You did it wrong again."
5.) My mother taught me - "How can I ever trust you, when you lie to me".
6.) My father taught me -"I can never trust you to do it right".
7.) My parents taught me - "There is no one you can trust outside the family".
8.) My father taught me - "Don't expect God to save you. He can't be trusted."
9.) My mother taught me - "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself".
10.) My church taught me - "Trust in God. Only He can save you."
11.) My mother taught me - "You're just too big for your britches. Trust me when I tell you this. It's the truth."
12.) My church taught me - "Trust your mother and father. They know what's best for you."
13.) My church taught me - "I am an unforgivable sinner, and cannot be trusted to be next to God".
14.) My parents taught me - "Your father/mother is going to hear about this. No wonder we can't trust you to make the right decision."
15.) My church taught me - "I cannot be trusted to do the right thing, because I am a weak sinner".
16.) My parents taught me - "How could you, after all I've done for you! Your mother/father was right. You are not to be trusted."

c.) SOUL Perspective:

Symbols from Soul:

The image given from Soul:

Two huge, golden doors appear. The doors are radiant, luminous. Two hands extend in front of the doors. Rays of energy flow from the hands, toward the doors. As the hands continue to extend upward, the arms and torso of a body emerge. The torso opens from the Heart as the doors open. The doors continue to open and then vanish. A vortex of warm golden energy surrounds, breathes into, and becomes One with the body. The body transforms into light particles.

The large, golden doors are any barrier, no matter how beautiful or seductive, no matter how I learned it or where it came from, between me, my Soul, and God. The extended hands and arms reaching toward the luminous doors are any request, thought, or prayer offered to God, asked in His/Her/It's name. The Light Energy is God Energy. The opening of the doors is Trusting that God/Soul is listening, receiving. The body opening from the Heart is Trusting the connection with Soul, which is God's Love and Energy. Opening to receive the Love of God/Soul is an act of Trust. Trust has become All That Is, so that I now Trust my Self, my Soul, and know God, Which I Am.

 

5.) Two Practices:
a.) I choose to look into my eyes in the mirror, and lovingly say this mantra aloud, every morning and evening...
"(My name), I Love you and Trust you, just the way you are."
b.) I choose to share, with 7 different persons this week, that I am
practicing Self-Love and Trust. I acknowledge and state, to myself and to others, that I Trust and Love myself. When I Love me...Trust comes easily, they are linked. I acknowledge and state, to myself and to others, that I Trust and Love my Soul, my radiant Soul. Trust flows from Love. I acknowledge and state to myself and to others that I Love God, Which I Am.

 

6.) Do The Practices every day for one week: Yes !!

 


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Ego Negative Feelings
Positive Feelings Soul/Being
The Esoteric Teachings/God Thoughts Triangulation

 

 

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