Fear has been ever present in my life this week.
I no longer choose to run from it.
Can I embrace the fear through my practice of surrender?

Everyday, I sit in silence and practice surrender, letting go.
I practice surrendering to fear.
Fear that I will not have enough.
Fear that I will not Be or Do enough.
Fear of life

There are a million fears which live in the mind of humanity.

Surrendering to fear is letting myself

become one with it.

I want to become so fully intimate with fear

that I know it as myself and it becomes part of me, not outside of myself.

Everyday, I sit in silence and practice

surrendering to fear.

Because living in fear is living my death. Meeting death or change or anything fearful

as a friend is living my life.

Surrendering to fear means releasing drama,

releasing attachment.

It means clearing the space for receiving

all the gifts God offers to me.

It means being fully awake and present

to receive the gifts.

I do not meet my death with fear. I do not meet my life with fear.

Until last week when everything in my life

seemed to fall apart at once, I thought… "I am really doing well on the spiritual path. I am moving closer to Heaven every day. I am doing my daily practices. I am Being Lovingly Present. I am seeing the Divine in all Beings."

Yet I did not feel peaceful all the time.

The seductiveness of spiritual arrogance.
I thought I was so close to God.
Just a little closer and I'd be There. With God. So Holy.
I'd be beyond having to work my stuff anymore.

Oh, to be Divine in human form is challenging!

Listening to my Soul, I now know that being fully present in every moment means I have the choice of Heaven or hell, life or fear or death in every moment.

How I meet the challenges that come to me

is the Heaven I create.

I create it for myself every day if I choose.

Heaven is not an end.
It is the process.
I create Heaven for myself everyday

with my attention and intention on Being the Bodhisattva.

The Bodhisattva is one who, out of compassion,

devotes himself/herself to serve humanity.

In the Heart, in Consciousness, the Bodhisattva holds the polarities

of life as one and the same, in neutrality.

In my practice of Being a Bodhisattva,
I stand in this place of neutrality.
I raise up all energies into the Impersonal.
I am not attached.
I am not reactive.
I am simply present in each moment.
Everything flows through me
I experience the sweet ease of a

lifestream surrendered.

My little will surrendered to God Will. Each moment is surrendered to the next. I am no longer living from my ego and its

control, manipulation, protection, defense, judgement and criticism.

In this way, I can be open to receive

all the gifts, the Grace, that has been offered to me and allow the Love to flow through me to all God Consciousness.

Joy. Joy. Joy.

In the ever present reality of being human,
Fear and pain came pulling steadily at the strings
of my emotional body last week.
Things felt like they were falling apart.
Can I create my Heaven from this as well?
Yes.

I loved a man.
I could not have him.
I wanted him.
I thought, "There will never be another

whom I Love so much and to whom I feel so connected."

Tears flowed…. Like an endless river. I felt lost momentarily in my feelings of grief.

Can I release my addiction to Romantic Longing?
Oh, I thought, this is The One I have waited for all my life.
My Divine Lover.
But further clarity came
Is this Divine Love, or Codependent Love?
Divine Love knows no attachment. It knows only Love.
Codependent Love's hallmark is attachment.
Oh, the seductiveness of Romantic Longing.
It is so ingrained in humanity.
The possibility of being saved or of saving another.
It allows us to shift the focus from taking responsibility for our own

lives to another.

We can totally immerse ourselves in drama of the other.

As a Bodhisattva, can I raise this Romantic Longing up

for myself and for all humanity? Is this my piece of The Work for humanity?

Can I bring full Consciousness to my desire for romantic love? Can I embrace my feelings of sadness,

anger, grief?

I trust myself and I trust God. With God's help I know I can.

Dear God,
Please grant me the Grace

of your Divine Presence within me to assist me in flowing with this process impeccably.

Dear God,
Please hear my prayer.
Let me run to the pain and fear, not away from it.
Help me to become friends with my pain

and become more compassionate toward myself and others.

Dear God,
Please help me accept wholeheartedly

That I am both Strong and Weak, Both Courageous and Fearful, Impeccable and Flawed.

I am all of it. Only then can I come to a place of Truth

and Compassion within myself.

Dear God,
Please help me remember

that I am precious beyond measure.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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